Ralph

            Today, I met Ralph. Ralph is the second homeless person I’ve held a sustained conversation with. He was very quick to converse after I gave him a dollar and asked his name. After talking with him for a while, however, I got the impression that he would have loved to chitchat regardless of whether I gave him any money or not. Our very jolly interaction lasted about 15 or 20 minutes. Ralph is 52 years old. He’s been living in DC since 2006. Sleeps in a park down the street. He has a mind-boggling 18 siblings. His closest relatives live in Delaware—three older sisters. His father is in his 90s, still chugging along in Puerto Rico. Had I not gotten this foreign connection, I would have assumed that Ralph was African American. Now I’m not quite sure, though he is pretty dark skinned.

            If Ralph had it his way, he would be in New York City. He grew up there—or at least lived there from 13 on. I asked him what was holding him back from returning. “It’s too much trouble”, he added without any more elaboration. I assume that this means its less safe. One significant quote I remember from the conversation was “DC is an okay city, it’s just not okay for me”. I asked him to explain. Apparently, people here are too “snotty”. I asked him to clarify. “Snotty”, to Ralph, means unfriendly—unwilling to say hello or smile at strangers. I suspected he was referring specifically to this area. I was, however, wrong. He likes Foggy Bottom a whole lot. Apparently, it’s prime real estate for begging. Namely, right out side of the Whole Foods. People are very generous. At one point, he tried to start a conversation with a passerby by reading the words on the passerby’s shirt loudly and he got his attention. Before even asking for money, the man apologized to Ralph for only carrying a credit card. Ralph consoled by saying that his conservation was “better than money”.

            He spoke as if he genuinely makes enough money to get by in this area. Additionally, Ralph likes this area because there are a lot of pretty girls. During the course of our relatively short conversation, he, to my delight, loudly complimented probably 10 girls—most of them African American. He let me in on a little secret, pointing to the apartment building that he sees the most pretty girl traffic coming in and out of. He did not speak of his romantic life, but he seemed to be content with just looking and complimenting.

            Some of the most resonant parts of our conversation were when Ralph referred to his beliefs about karma. If anyone asks Ralph for a few bucks, he gives it to them, no questions asked. This policy has worked for him. They always pay him back in one way or another. His grandmother taught him to treat people this way. He has formed relationships with people this way—some of them being Whole Foods cashiers. He referred to one of his friends as his “veggie guy”, though I’m unsure if he is a Whole Foods employee. Not an intuitive description to me, he continued by saying that this friend very frequently buys him sandwiches with “guacamole, lettuce, tomatoes, jalapeños, and cheese”. This friend distinctly never buys him any sandwiches with meat. He said being so close to health foods store allows him to rarely eat meat.

            Towards the end of our conversation, a physically handicapped man stumbled by Whole Foods. Ralph immediately recognized him, but did not interact with him. He told me that the man walks by every single day. It pleased me to see how familiar he was with the people of the area. He told me the story of how he once stopped the handicapped man from being mugged.

            Ralph is a good man.