I’ve found the best way to approach the hands on work I’m
doing with the children is to act as if I am one of them. This sounds like a
cliché, but I’m really trying to embody it. You see, each class has a mentor or
teacher—ideally, a young adult African American male that has grown up in the
program. For that reason, they are very familiar with the sort of personal
development ideals that the program asks the boys to strive for. Being in
positions of authority, however, it is difficult to not be somewhat domineering.
It’s not as if the boys respond horribly to this type of treatment or anything,
it just often rubs me the wrong way. When I was plopped into the “Kings”
classroom (ages 7-9), I was given very little (if any) instruction as to how to
behave myself. For this reason, I felt challenged (or perhaps inspired) to make
the role my own. Whenever Brother O and Brother D request that the boys sit
down on the carpet in preparation for sharing a bit about their day, I do the
same. Whenever they make clear that it is time to clean up after playing, I
start cleaning up with them. Whenever the boys must walk the halls silently and
single-filed, I secretly sneak a poke at my neighbor’s pudgy waist—eliciting as
many smiles as possible. Don’t get me wrong—it’s not as if I’m attempting to
mock their authority—I recognize the necessity of having someone in charge of
calling the shots. The reality is, however, that there are already two
authority figures! I’ve chosen to just act like one of their buddies. It does
put me in a weird position though. No matter how much I goof off, I’m certainly
not going to be rebuked by the mentors. I have their respect. In the one
instance in which my mentor got onto one of the boys for talking (when inspired
by me), I quickly took the blame and the mentor smiled and shook his head.
I
think my methodology of befriending has served me well. One of the boys in
particularly certainly gets more antsy and excited when I’m spotted as opposed
to the mentors. I’m hoping that the position of friendship will allow me to
better embody the type of rebuke that was recommended by Sister T during our
first day’s orientation—to suggest alternative behaviors when necessary as
opposed to demanding them. This is in the interest of making good behavior seem
like plausible possibility as opposed to antithesis—as in, maybe I’ll come off
as just a good friend giving them casual advice.
Will
this type of relationship serve me well in the long run? Since it’s the end of
the school year, the children rarely have any homework and so I’ve not really
had to function much as a formal educator. During the small glimpses for 10
minutes here or 20 minutes there that I’ve had of actual “tutoring”, I’ve found
the kids to be pretty difficult to work with. Don’t get me wrong—not significantly
more difficult than other student’s I’ve tutored, but perhaps a little bit
more. They’ve struggled. This is frustrating and exciting. I’ve got work to do
over this summer! I will also have to be exceptionally patient!
Most
importantly, I wonder if the friendly relationship I’ve established with the
boys makes me harder to take seriously when it’s time to do the “real” work. Is
it more confusing and problematic than strategic that I’m acting like I’m just
“one of the boys”? Is it hard for them to code switch into academic mode when
they just saw me ridiculously impersonating an alien made of K’nex that I’ve
provocatively named “One-Eyed Charlie”? Time will tell.
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